HASH 1032

TOUGH CHICK HASH

This was always going to be a “Tough Hash” as Platterpuss gave it this wonderful title after experiencing previous monsters created by Globetwatter who had the assistance of another long distance running freak, Renee. Read on to find out how tough, “tough” is!

Everything started off smoothly enough with 38 hashers assembling including newcummers Glen (perhaps our first Peruvian Hasher) and Tina whom our South African infrequent hasher Jerry brought along and passed off as his niece, a better excuse next time please Jerry, business associate would be more convincing. Old Timers, Raging Bullshit, Black sheep and Whorenando made a welcum return with the first two looking like the food and San Migs they had consumed in the Philippines’ had made them prime candidates for “The Tough Chicks” torture. Everything ready, but where the hell is the ice, 3 phone calls only brought up the standard GZ excuse “Stuck in traffic” What do we do? Hares pacing and muttering “it’s a long hash we need to get going”, drinkers muttering “our beer needs to be cold”. In the end good old Mush Mouth made our decision for us and turned up ready to go, f- – - the ice. ON ON to Stone Mountain to the A point and the running hashers on their way, ON ON to the B point for the walkers who were supposed to be on their way before the runners arrived. But no, the walkers had decided when Mushy stopped to find ice that they couldn’t resist the Chinese national pastime of shopping, making our already slightly grey haired hares even greyer. Finally on to the B point with most off the runners already through this point with only Rambo, Thumbleprints and GPS making their way after the first big climb up Stone Mountain had sorted the runners out. Uli had shown her uphill prowess in this section, or was she in front because her butt was prettier than Shocked’s or Sir Cum’s. Then it was into the big climb of Long Dong Mountain with the only sounds being birdsong, gasping for air and the melodious cry of

“F – - – this is steep.” Front runner Filthy Habits picked the best option by following Jade to take his mind off the pain while Whore Chi Minge took the worst option by following Sir Cum. Up to the top of Long Dong Mountain with a short option going down which Globetwatter gave as the only option after 5.15pm, as Filthy would say “Good call” The front walkers and runners with Chic Sheik and Shocked leading the way did a longer course down the ridge and were rewarded with some wonderful views over Long Dong Lake. “Big Foot” alias Kublai Cock had hobbled up to the ridge to take some action shots and offer encouragement to all. Down to the bus with the majority of hashers saying the “Tough Chicks” had achieved their goal of an enjoyable Rambo Hash. The minority just mumbled into their beer “Stupid hash, Worst hash ever, too tough, Hash is meant to be a 45 minute stroll etc etc.

No ice so our ingenious GM decided rocks were good to sit on but were not used as it didn’t seem right to name hashers with no ice so it will have to wait until next week. Raging Bullshit was overheard saying how well he thought he was going on his first hash in half a zillion years until Hello Sailor blew him away and took the wind out of his sails (Nautical terms to make Hello Sailor feel at home)

It was a sad circle in some ways as it was OODirks last Guangzhou hash and also perhaps the last hash for Whore Chi Minge. I know it is one of the downsides of being an expat but it never gets any easier when you have to say good bye to your social mates. All the best guys!!!

Raging Bullshit quickly settled into the job of RA as if he had never left and had OODirk having a Down Down with everyone from Tall people to the Americans and he even managed to have several Down Downs by himself. The last hasher Gerry struggled in during the circle but even though it had been a tough hash for him he still managed a drink and a smile. Newcummer Tina was given a hard time, and rightfully so, for answering her phone while being accused. Hunkaspunk once again was to the fore in making accusations and to his credit none of them lasted over 5 minutes. So, with all safe and sound thanks to our highly paid security guard Ci Ci, it was on the MMM and back to the Big Dirty where a successful dinner finally happened at Platterpuss’s restaurant of choice.

Upcumming events – 23rd January 2010 Hash 1033 “Pommie Hash”

Hares – Pete the Pom and Pile Driver

Everyone to wear a knotted handkerchief as a hat.

REMEMBER – BUS LEAVES AT 2pm, NOT 2.15pm